37 Ways To Be Seductive With A Man,

Warlock, a Novel of SeductionThirty Seven Ways to be Seductive with a Man—For Men and Women

One of my prime feelings lately is that too many gay men have lost the talent of being seductive. A generation or two ago, it seemed to go with the territory. Maybe too many of us had seen too many old movies and knew the moves that the stars of old used, to keep them stars—but seduction I feel has become a lost art, but one which a little practice we can bring back again.

So to reacquaint you with it, I offer 37 ways to be seductive. You might find more at my website, www.perrybrass.com, but these 37 are good ways to begin.

1) Repeat his name after you hear it. Then say, “I like your name.” Even if you don’t and his name is Jerky McSmirk, say it. Then smile a bit, but make sure he does not feel that you are laughing at him.

2) Ask him what he does with his time that is important to him. Almost every man loves to talk about his work, and even if he doesn’t he will have something that he likes to do with his time and is waiting for someone to ask.

3) Keep his hand in yours for more than moment, but not long enough to embarrass him if he is embarrassed by public displays of affection.

4) Touch him behind the ear or neck. Very gently.

5) Get close enough to him that he can smell your breath, and make sure that your breath is worth smelling.

6) Tell you like . . . the way he smells, his skin feels, his eyes look—something completely personal.

7) Invite him to sit down with you.

8) Invite him to stand up, go to the bar, go outside for a breath of air; anything, just invite him to do it, so he knows you are including him in your plans.

9) Ask him how he feels. And repeat the question often. In most of “normal” life, no one cares how men feel. It is considered uncool to ask. Don’t be afraid of being uncool. Cool is for kids. Warm is for men.

10) Ask him to taste what you are drinking. And then smile.

11) Offer to buy him a drink. Or, if not a drink, then something else. Don’t offer this to reciprocate for something he has already done; make it a freewill offering. If it is simply tit-for-tat (whatever the hell that means), it loses a lot of its seductive power and even your tit may start to pale compared to his tat.

12) If you offer him a business card (and people do nowadays), write something on the back of it that is personal, even if it’s just your signature and “call.”

13) Touch his hair or forehead lightly with your fingers and smile while you’re doing this.

14) Sophia Loren was once asked who was the most seductive man she had ever met. “Cary Grant. We met on a plane. What struck me immediately was how he smelled, with a very subtle citrus cologne, and how nice his manners were. So many men use bad manners to seduce, and that’s bad.”
Learn something from that.

15) Wherever you are, find an excuse to invite him outside for a moment. Then enjoy the fact that the two of you are breathing the same air without a lot of other people breathing it.

16) Invite him to your—whatever. Apartment, palatial estate in Hoboken, hotel room, or even the curb where your car is parked, or the curb next to the subway entrance. But make sure he knows this invitation comes from you personally.

17) Ask him out for something. If he asks if this is a “date,” say, “No, but I just thought we’d get to know each other and have fun.”

18) There is nothing so seductive as a man who knows when to laugh at the right time. Never laugh at him, unless of course the whole situation at some point becomes so absurd that even while laughing at him, you are really laughing at yourself.

19) At some point make sure that your cheek is close to his. You can do this by getting close enough to him to whisper into his ear. There is something tingling and nice about having someone whisper into your ear anyway, but having your cheek next to his cheek means that you are inviting intimacy, something that most men find appealing, even if they are not capable of doing it themselves.

20) When he shows up at your apartment, tell him how much nicer he looks without a lot of people around him.

21) Don’t expect him to sit next to you his first time in your “space”; allow him to have some other alternative seating. And don’t take offense if he does not sit with you. He may be too shy to plump down next to you when he hardly knows you.

22) But this should not keep you from approaching him and smiling.

23) Always offer a man something to eat. It may be light, but it should have some texture to it. If he’s nervous at your first meeting, having something like celery or carrots around for munchies can be good. Don’t just offer him a drink. Although “liquor is quicker,” it often makes men feel out of control.

24) Sex and intimacy are great appetite suppressants, which is probably the reason why so many people are over-weight now: they don’t get enough of either. So if things heat up, dinner can wait.

25) Admire something he’s wearing, then tell him, smiling, how much better he might look without it.

26) Don’t jump all over him. Let him have a moment to enjoy the intimacy of physical closeness with you. Sexual dysfunction is now on the rise, and part of that may be that people expect too much to happen too fast, in an already stressful work-driven culture. So no matter what “deed” happens, enjoy the fact that he is there enjoying you.

27) Ask him, “Is there anything we can do that would make you more comfortable?” If he hesitates, then tell him what would you more comfortable.

28) Try taking off your shoes, and then his.

29) Massage his shoulders. Most men carry huge tension in them. Use a light touch, and don’t try to do anything unexpected that would surprise or bother him.

30) Point out something around the apartment or space that interests you, and talk about it in a way that can bring him into the picture. (“Do you have anything like that? What do you usually show your friends?”)

31) Turn the music to something that is soft, no matter what your taste in sound is. Never make either of you talk over the music, and if the news is on turn it off.

32) Bring out some pictures to look at it. And invite him to sit closer to you.

33) When you are sitting closer, have at least one part of your body (an elbow, knee, hand, or shoulder) touch his.

34) If you offer him something to eat, give him a moment to try it without being all over him. Seduction requires a moment for him to enjoy being near you without you being aggressive about it. So, draw away from him for a moment while he eats. Or drinks.

35) If you feel that he is withdrawing from you (and sometimes this happens from nerves or self-consciousness), then take a breather. Don’t get into his face, but back off a bit, and then come back with (in a nice, non-threatening way): “What’s your day been like?” Get him to talk. Again, most men are never asked about their feelings or themselves unless it has to do with work and is done in a threatening or threatening way. (My most loathed question is, “How’z-it goin’?” Instead of “How are you feeling?” It’s OK for street morons to reduce each other to that; you don’t have to.)

So the fact that you are not asking in a threatening or challenging way is wonderful.

36) Touch his shoulders gently. And then work your way up to his ear or face: gently. Kiss him, but not on the lips. Now start to touch his chest, and unbutton a button or two. After unbuttoning a few buttons, stop, kiss him, then begin unbuttoning or removing more.

37) Tell him you did not expect him to look so good with his clothes off. And then say, “I really like your shoulders (or chest, or neck, or arms, or . . . ). Most men love having their bodies complimented. And, if he does have a great body, and it’s obvious that he’s spent a lot of time on it, tell him, “You should keep your clothes off all the time.” In other words, you are not so foolishly “cool” and self-involved that you are going to ignore something that means a lot to him.

45 Responses to “37 Ways To Be Seductive With A Man,”

  1. armin Says:

    and now I need to find a man to seduce! thank U perry!

  2. Carlos Stucky Says:

    Even tough I would need to inject in my veins those 37 needles…For I did not the chance to achieve this goal yet…I would like to say helo to Perry with his own words..
    “No one would know his real age.”[Me: I do need to stop listening Forever Young with The Pretenders… ]
    “Or how he felt inside. [Me: I wish I could live in such a small world – I was feeling reaaall sad when you wrote me. Thank you]
    Or what he had to do to stay the way he was” [Me: or how much we struggle to eventually get there… ]
    Have a nice evening…

  3. Seduction Techniques Says:

    David Deangelo

    Even when I was talking to a girl and it was obvious she was flirting with me I wasn’t sure how to make her really interested in me.

  4. perrybrass Says:

    This one is a no-brainer: show that you are actually interested in her. Women, unlike men, love to be complimented. So tell her something about herself that would make her show that you’re really interested, care, and are not the Big Bad Wolf. As in: “I like the way you smile.” “I like that dress (blouse, you name it).” “I like the color of your eyes.” The most important thing is the exchange and that it is really happening. Don’t expect her to say something back, but just to accept your compliment nicely. If she does, then things can move along.

  5. Shiana Says:

    The Art of seduction is indeed dead! No one bothers to arouse any other sense except that required to enjoy a good meal or a roll in the sack! I really drank deep from your fountain of ideas and i can’t wait to get started. Arigato!

  6. shanni Says:


    your suggestions right here were very effective, since i started doing your advices my boyfriend miss me everyday, gosh! it’s really working.

  7. perrybrass Says:

    I think these 37 Suggestions will continue working for you for a long time. They are pretty much tried-and-true. I’m glad that you are using them, and finding them very useful.


  8. Sandy Says:

    I read your 37 ways to be seductive with a man and it is phenominal. So many times we as a lady or even a gentleman forget the art of seduction and intimacy. Normally it is just straight to the sex, even as you stated sometimes a beverage is the starter. if we do as you have stated this can lead to romance in a seductive way. I am going to try this with my friend. thanks sooooo much for the information. 🙂

  9. Steph Says:

    I read these 37 ways to be seductive and really learned a lot. I can’t wait to try this with my boyfriend. Thanks so much for the info 🙂

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  11. Edith Ngie Says:

    hello Perry
    i’ve printed out these 37 ways of seductive and studying it right now. please can you give me more tips on how to seduce a distant boy friend? i really need this so much.

    • perrybrass Says:

      Thank you for your comment, Edith. The best thing to do would be to get my book The Manly Art of Seduction, Belhue Press. (It is also available as a Kindle book, and is on Nook, Diesel, and many other sites.) Although it is written from a man’s point of view, many many women are reading it and loving it. It is especially good on dealing with problems with seductions, like for instance when things blow up and you need a strategy for getting them back together again. As for seducing a “distant boyfriend”, let him know that you are interested—definitely—but you are not jumping all over him. Also, try honesty, as in telling him what you’d like—for instance, “I’d really like it if you (were more passionate, more open, gave me an idea what you’d like, etc.).” This puts the ball in his court.

  12. Deborah Says:

    Can I personally say this can apply to women seducing men as well? These tips are great!

    I’m reading this because I want to become a seductive woman for myself, not for anybody else so I want to practice and become a woman who can seduce. It may sound pathetic but it’s the truth!

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    • perrybrass Says:

      Dear Noah, Thank you for your WordPress comment. I always appreciate the feelings of my readers, and look forward to hearing more of your comments. You can read more about the Manly Art of Seduction in my book The Manly Art of Seduction, available as a Kindle Ebook from Amazon in Germany.


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    • perrybrass Says:

      Thanks for your comment; my book The Manly Art of Seduction handles the subject with a lot more detail. It is available on Amazon and many other places.

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  36. RAJA Says:

    My boy friend is loving me.But not allowing me to touch him any way.He is having such a hairy chests.But not allowing me to touch it at any point of it.Everybody touching his chests but only not allowing me to touch.
    Whenever he saw me,he got a erection.But he is not allowing me to sit near to him,or to touch him.If i did so.He suddenly tell others ,he is touching me in bad way…If i tried to touch his chests ,then he suddenly came to beat me.

    I was very dissappointed.I don’t know wat to do.If i hesitate to speak with him,he also got disappointed.

    Help me ……To seduce him and come to my way.

    • perrybrass Says:

      Does he feel that his chest is repulsive? That touching his chest is unmanly? That there is some reason why you shouldn’t touch his chest? Is he holding out on sex with you because he’s angry with you, or himself? You need to talk with him and find out the answers to these questions.

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